Okay, I'll read your journal...BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FRICKIN' SENSE! I mean, c'mon, you're always acting like you're some smart shit, so why can't you write like it? Complete sentences, people! Punctuation! Is that too much to ask?
I was very sad at Life Teen today. I had nothing to do. So much for being a leader.
I miss my friends from school. They rock, but work has kept me from them. That's just so lame...
But about work:
But about work:
Today I had a surprisingly good day. I didn't have a single station that required me to do a 10-20. I was working all slides and the waterpark gates. I even got a break today. The weather didn't suck to bad and Chrisadora showed up to cover my afternoon shift. Days like today might occur once or twice a summer, and I'm happy.
Rain is not fun when you're a lifeguard, because without lighting, you're just stuck on stand. I think it was Tuesday that I was stuck on stand in the pouring rain. It was cold and although all the water attractions were closed, the water park was open. Don't ask me about the sense in that. The cold was bearable, but the constand pounding of the water down on me was driving me crazy. It's like Chinese water torture over my entire body. Absolutely maddening.
On one whistle, look up, we're pissed at you. At two whistles, don't worry, we're pissed at the guard next to us. At three whistles, GET THE EFFIN' A OUT OF OUR WAY, YOU MORON! In other words, there's a life to be saved.
Wanna piss off a guard? Hold your breath and go face down. Or wear a life jacket and cross the black line at the wave pool. They'll go into convulsions over that one.
For your entertainment:
So, even though lifeguarding may not be the right job for me, I must admit that it has added spice to my life. I bring you..."Moments in Lifeguarding"
Chris, supreme ruler of the waterpark: "Everyone, since we're all here, I have some announcements to read to you. There were two deaths recently in the amusement park industry, so Six Flags has issued a warning list to all its parks and employees. I have to read them to you, then you sign this piece of paper saying you understand."
(Chorus of groans from 41 guards)
"Here's the first warning. If you see a sign that says 'Do not enter, Danger' then do not enter, because there is probably danger. Some guys apparently got run over by a roller coaster..."
(Gagging noises from 41 guards)
"Second thing. Do not enter any area you are not allowed in. That means the water facility sheds. They hold dangerous chemicals, and I think we all have heard the story about the clorine spill a few years back. Needless to say, we do not want guards to be running into noxious clouds anytime soon."
(Everyone nods understandingly.)
"Third notice. Do you all know what PASS means?"
(Confused muttering among 41 guards)
"It doesn't really matter for all of you. It has to do with fire extinguishers. Pull, Aim, Squeeze, Sweep. But since you're not allowed into the water facility sheds where the extinguishers are kept, don't worry about it. God this is stupid."
"Your fourth notice is to stay away from deep water, because you could drown."
(There's a pause here, as the stupidity of the statement hits all 41 lifeguards.)
Chris frowns, and laughs.
"So I guess this means that if you see some drowning, just tell them, 'Sorry, park regulations have said I'm not allowed to go into deep water.' Then we'll all be okay."
(Several people laugh.)
"You know what? Screw it. We're not signing that paper."
(Cheering from 41 guards)
Sandy and Artie are talking about some party they attended, in which Sandy got reeeeallllly drunk.
"Hey, Artie, did I use my pick up line on you last night?"
"Yes. God, I can't believe..."
Random Guard: "Hey, what was it? C'mon, tell us!"
Sandy crooks her finger and beckons to Artie.
Artie says, "So when she did that at the party, I went over. And she says to me,"
Sandy interrupts, "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with two!"
As told by Artie:
Girl supervisor walks in wearing a orange Ambercrombie & Fitch shirt. Gay Guard walks up and announces quite happily, "Oh my gawd. I have the same shirt, but in pink! And mine's smaller."
Said supervisor quickly removes shirt and stuffs it in locker, never to wear it again.
So, even though lifeguarding may not be the right job for me, I must admit that it has added spice to my life. I bring you..."Moments in Lifeguarding"
Chris, supreme ruler of the waterpark: "Everyone, since we're all here, I have some announcements to read to you. There were two deaths recently in the amusement park industry, so Six Flags has issued a warning list to all its parks and employees. I have to read them to you, then you sign this piece of paper saying you understand."
(Chorus of groans from 41 guards)
"Here's the first warning. If you see a sign that says 'Do not enter, Danger' then do not enter, because there is probably danger. Some guys apparently got run over by a roller coaster..."
(Gagging noises from 41 guards)
"Second thing. Do not enter any area you are not allowed in. That means the water facility sheds. They hold dangerous chemicals, and I think we all have heard the story about the clorine spill a few years back. Needless to say, we do not want guards to be running into noxious clouds anytime soon."
(Everyone nods understandingly.)
"Third notice. Do you all know what PASS means?"
(Confused muttering among 41 guards)
"It doesn't really matter for all of you. It has to do with fire extinguishers. Pull, Aim, Squeeze, Sweep. But since you're not allowed into the water facility sheds where the extinguishers are kept, don't worry about it. God this is stupid."
"Your fourth notice is to stay away from deep water, because you could drown."
(There's a pause here, as the stupidity of the statement hits all 41 lifeguards.)
Chris frowns, and laughs.
"So I guess this means that if you see some drowning, just tell them, 'Sorry, park regulations have said I'm not allowed to go into deep water.' Then we'll all be okay."
(Several people laugh.)
"You know what? Screw it. We're not signing that paper."
(Cheering from 41 guards)
Sandy and Artie are talking about some party they attended, in which Sandy got reeeeallllly drunk.
"Hey, Artie, did I use my pick up line on you last night?"
"Yes. God, I can't believe..."
Random Guard: "Hey, what was it? C'mon, tell us!"
Sandy crooks her finger and beckons to Artie.
Artie says, "So when she did that at the party, I went over. And she says to me,"
Sandy interrupts, "If I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with two!"
As told by Artie:
Girl supervisor walks in wearing a orange Ambercrombie & Fitch shirt. Gay Guard walks up and announces quite happily, "Oh my gawd. I have the same shirt, but in pink! And mine's smaller."
Said supervisor quickly removes shirt and stuffs it in locker, never to wear it again.
Oh yeah:
Live Journal SUCKS!